it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
