I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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