He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
