is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
