Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
