And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
