Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
