yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I have already put on my inside pants.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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