Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
