yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize
