Whod you bang
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
