I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
