this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
im on a boat
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