whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
