You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
