I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
