so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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