We're like a lot better than the average bears
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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