nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
