Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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