why didn't you poke me back
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I love you.
Bad choice
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize