I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He better not be in your backpack
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
