Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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