Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You've changed since you got that strap on
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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