Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
