Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
