it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The struggles of a small town man whore
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