All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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