wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
