I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
