He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
