yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he thought i was a dude.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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