It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
