I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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