i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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