Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
