Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
