If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
