i just wanna soil my oats bro
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
