Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
