is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
and you fell through a lawn chair
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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