I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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