Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
