We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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