OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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