I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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