last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
