you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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