If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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