but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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