Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
