A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
