There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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