Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
