I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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