Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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