Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
