we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
