you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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