If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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