meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
