Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
No subtext here. People are naked.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
