Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
